Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone the bad act or behaviour of another person, nor does it mean that you are a weak and unwise person. This may be true, but why do we find it so difficult to forgive others?
I’m writing to you today not as a self-righteous and perfect individual, but as a person who also struggled with un-forgiveness for way too long.I mean let’s get real here, they hurt me so why should I forgive? They need to suffer a little so that they can feel the pain that they put me through in the first place. I won’t give another person a chance to hurt me again!
All valid reasons but what is the ultimate outcome of unforgiveness? Have you ever thought about what it does to you as the individual?
After struggling with unforgiveness which obviously led to stress, sadness and many self pity parties, I decided to do some introspection into why forgiving is sometimes very difficult for us as human beings. My “Aha” moment came when I realised that we find it difficult to forgive perhaps because we don’t understand what forgiveness actually is and who ultimately suffers in the end. Well at least that was for me.
I’d like to encourage each and everyone of you to consider forgiveness, not forcing you to, as forgiveness is a personal choice, but encouraging you and in doing so helping you make an informed decision, I’d like to look at what forgiveness is and what it is not.
So then, lets see:
What forgiveness is
An opportunity to heal - through forgiveness we can face our traumas, anger, anxiety.
Recognising that the person that does you wrong is human.
Can happen at any time and is a personal decision.
Forgiveness is freeing for yourself.
What forgiveness is not
Not something you do for the person that does you wrong but is for you.
Not getting even or revenge - this will not resolve anger or resentment.
Not forgetting that someone wronged you and just pretend it didn’t happen.
Not something that can forced.
But why would we need to forgive?
Lets look at reasons why I consider it important:
Forgiveness provides an opportunity for improved mental health.
Healthier relationships
Freedom of self
Choices
So what will it be? Do we forgive or hold onto grudges? I encourage you to consider this path and free yourself. Remember as the wise Mahatma Gandhi said: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”
*Struggling to forgive?
Holding onto pain that is causing you trauma?
We are here to help.
Simply book on our website or,
Email us on livingenliven@gmail.com or send us a WhatsApp message on 0722634129.
Remember: We are here to help.
BE kind to yourself and forgive.
Dr Naz
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